Catholic marriage or Supernumerarios marriage?

APOSTOLIC LETTER
MULIERIS DIGNITATEM
OF THE SUPREME PONTIFF
JOHN PAUL II
ON THE
DIGNITY AND VOCATION
OF WOMEN

"He shall rule over you"

10. The biblical description in the Book of Genesis outlines the truth about the consequences of man's sin, as it is shown by the disturbance of that original relationship between man and woman which corresponds to their individual dignity as persons. A human being, whether male or female, is a person, and therefore, "the only creature on earth which God willed for its own sake"; and at the same time this unique and unrepeatable creature "cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of self".32 Here begins the relationship of "communion" in which the "unity of the two" and the personal dignity of both man and woman find expression. Therefore when we read in the biblical description the words addressed to the woman: "Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you" (Gen 3:16), we discover a break and a constant threat precisely in regard to this "unity of the two" which corresponds to the dignity of the image and likeness of God in both of them. But this threat is more serious for the woman, since domination takes the place of "being a sincere gift" and therefore living "for" the other: "he shall rule over you". This "domination" indicates the disturbance and loss of the stability of that fundamental equality which the man and the woman possess in the "unity of the two": and this is especially to the disadvantage of the woman, whereas only the equality resulting from their dignity as persons can give to their mutual relationship the character of an authentic "communio personarum". While the violation of this equality, which is both a gift and a right deriving from God the Creator, involves an element to the disadvantage of the woman, at the same time it also diminishes the true dignity of the man. Here we touch upon an extremely sensitive point in the dimension of that "ethos" which was originally inscribed by the Creator in the very creation of both of them in his own image and likeness.

This statement in Genesis 3:16 is of great significance. It implies a reference to the mutual relationship of man and woman in marriage. It refers to the desire born in the atmosphere of spousal love whereby the woman's "sincere gift of self" is responded to and matched by a corresponding "gift" on the part of the husband. Only on the basis of this principle can both of them, and in particular the woman, "discover themselves" as a true "unity of the two" according to the dignity of the person. The matrimonial union requires respect for and a perfecting of the true personal subjectivity of both of them. The woman cannot become the "object" of "domination" and male "possession". But the words of the biblical text directly concern original sin and its lasting consequences in man and woman. Burdened by hereditary sinfulness, they bear within themselves the constant "inclination to sin", the tendency to go against the moral order which corresponds to the rational nature and dignity of man and woman as persons. This tendency is expressed in a threefold concupiscence, which Saint John defines as the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life (cf. 1 Jn 2:16). The words of the Book of Genesis quoted previously (3: 16) show how this threefold concupiscence, the "inclination to sin", will burden the mutual relationship of man and woman.

These words of Genesis refer directly to marriage, but indirectly they concern the different spheres of social life: the situations in which the woman remains disadvantaged or discriminated against by the fact of being a woman. The revealed truth concerning the creation of the human being as male and female constitutes the principal argument against all the objectively injurious and unjust situations which contain and express the inheritance of the sin which all human beings bear within themselves. The books of Sacred Scripture confirm in various places the actual existence of such situations and at the same time proclaim the need for conversion, that is to say, for purification from evil and liberation from sin: from what offends neighbour, what "diminishes" man, not only the one who is offended but also the one who causes the offence. This is the unchangeable message of the Word revealed by God. In it is expressed the biblical "ethos" until the end of time.33

In our times the question of "women's rights" has taken on new significance in the broad context of the rights of the human person. The biblical and evangelical message sheds light on this cause, which is the object of much attention today, by safeguarding the truth about the "unity" of the "two", that is to say the truth about that dignity and vocation that result from the specific diversity and personal originality of man and woman. Consequently, even the rightful opposition of women to what is expressed in the biblical words "He shall rule over you" (Gen 3:16) must not under any condition lead to the "masculinization" of women. In the name of liberation from male "domination", women must not appropriate to themselves male characteristics contrary to their own feminine "originality". There is a well-founded fear that if they take this path, women will not "reach fulfilment", but instead will deform and lose what constitutes their essential richness. It is indeed an enormous richness. In the biblical description, the words of the first man at the sight of the woman who had been created are words of admiration and enchantment, words which fill the whole history of man on earth.

The personal resources of femininity are certainly no less than the resources of masculinity: they are merely different. Hence a woman, as well as a man, must understand her "fulfilment" as a person, her dignity and vocation, on the basis of these resources, according to the richness of the femininity which she received on the day of creation and which she inherits as an expression of the "image and likeness of God" that is specifically hers. The inheritance of sin suggested by the words of the Bible - "Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you" - can be conquered only by following this path. The overcoming of this evil inheritance is, generation after generation, the task of every human being, whether woman or man. For whenever man is responsible for offending a woman's personal dignity and vocation, he acts contrary to his own personal dignity and his own vocation.

http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_ ... em_en.html

http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_ ... dex_sp.htm

APOSTOLIC LETTER
MULIERIS DIGNITATEM
OF THE SUPREME PONTIFF
JOHN PAUL II
ON THE
DIGNITY AND VOCATION
OF WOMEN
ON THE OCCASION
OF THE MARIAN YEAR

http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/apost_letters/documents/hf_jp-ii_apl_150819...

Most girls think about marriage. It is natural, and why should they talk about it with simplicity and seriousness to know in advance the importance of the obligations contracted and what reason and faith teach us about this great sacrament.
Ms. Lavergue wrote one day his daughter:
I hope that these stories, though mundane, you fun. Mr X has been shocked because five of these ten stories, complete with a wedding. Would like to never speak of this. It is not his view the Holy Spirit, which told us the stories of Rebecca, Rachel, Tobias, Esther, Ruth, stories of marriages But all this good would like Mr front of her daughters, never speak ill of this sacrament.
We speak, therefore, not of this evil but sacrament of this great sacrament. If you are called to marriage, is that you have just this purpose on the serious notions that give us faith and reason.
A Chinese proverb says: "Marriage is a fortress besieged, which wanted to leave those who are inside and in wishing to enter those outside." There is a large dose of exaggeration and a lot of irony in this definition. No I, above all, you see the future through the binoculars of your youthful enthusiasm, I do not understand. Nor understand these words written by the pen of Taine:
We study three weeks, are scrambling three years, are tolerated thirty years, and .. their children start again. They start by sweet words, words still thick and eventually profanity ...
Why the sharp pen of critics is pleased to discredit marriage, which at first glance seems so sublime? Marriage is essentially the union of two souls, two hearts, two lives, that union should last until death. But unfortunately, in certain areas, persist in not seeing him in more than a business, a decent way to end, men especially, a more or less dissolute life, which has always feasible exit divorce. So, before seeing what is marriage in the eyes of faith, we must explore ways and how to consider that are more frequent in the world.

The marriage of interest.

Some who decide to make marriage a commercial idyll, a sale! Do not marry the couple, but with the dowry! The two pledged hardly been seen, but parents have seen the notary; suffice it!
And dare to put as ligature, as a union of two lives, money, interest, this factor is usually cause for division among men! The heart is not sold; occurs! If sold, not worth much!
There is too much tendency to some kind of world, to treat girls as sacks of coins with a label and a name are still account its contents, and, depending on the outcome of the investigation, accepting an matri ¬ monio or rejected . The dowry is sometimes spends very quickly and then a. the only woman left her husband and the husband only women, with no love come to flourish in their chests metallized. The cellphone is the dowry; God knows the price of cuantos1 efforts and deprivation han ido gathering parents. But when only looking for dowry in marriage, separation and divorce are, most of the time, the epilogue of what was so bad prologue.
In general parents who are prepared, stroke and conclude these weddings money, and when the business is completed behind the backs of the woman concerned, we
will say:
- Everything is ready for you with this cases
Lord.
But if you do not know.
-- That matter! will have time to know each des ¬ after the wedding.
-- But if you do not want!
-- It is rich! ... and after all, reflects; we enter into this marriage.
And marriage is ... Two years later, the fortune has disappeared and spouses seek a divorce. For many who are banknotes accumulated, unable to unite under the two hearts. The money without love is a cruel tyrant that afflicts with discord, with envy, and even hatred, the two rendered slaves to their feet.

Some who decide to make marriage a commercial idyll, a sale! Do not marry the couple, but with the dowry! The two pledged hardly been seen, but parents have seen the notary; suffice it!
And dare to put as ligature, as a union of two lives, money, interest, this factor is usually cause for division among men! The heart is not sold; occurs! If sold, not worth much!
There is too much tendency to some kind of world, to treat girls as sacks of coins with a label and a name are still account its contents, and, depending on the outcome of the investigation, accepting an matri ¬ monio or rejected . The dowry is sometimes spends very quickly and then a. the only woman left her husband and the husband only women, with no love come to flourish in their chests metallized. The cellphone is the dowry; God knows the price of cuantos1 efforts and deprivation han ido gathering parents. But when only looking for dowry in marriage, separation and divorce are, most of the time, the epilogue of what was so bad prologue.
In general parents who are prepared, stroke and conclude these weddings money, and when the business is completed behind the backs of the woman concerned, we
will say:
- Everything is ready for you with this cases
Lord.
But if you do not know.
-- That matter! will have time to know each des ¬ after the wedding.
-- But if you do not want!
-- It is rich! ... and after all, reflects; we enter into this marriage.
And marriage is ... Two years later, the fortune has disappeared and spouses seek a divorce. For many who are banknotes accumulated, unable to unite under the two hearts. The money without love is a cruel tyrant that afflicts with discord, with envy, and even hatred, the two rendered slaves to their feet.

The marriage of convenience.
It is one in which seeks above all joining two Faili, two situations, two fortunes. To arrange case is just the sentiments of the heart; only reason advised. Surely it is essential that is "reasonable" marriage, but the reason is a faculty very cold so that it can intervene alone. It requires that the heart and reason will agree or at least exists between the two spouses as true sympathy, possible germ of love during the course of living together. But if the heart does not speak, if the heart protest, we should not move forward, not a home is built on selfishness or the personal interest and it is a great virtue to build only about sacrifice.

The marriage of passion.

It verifies who marries either because he likes, because the sensual appetite heart drag him towards him, although the object of passion is unworthy and perhaps bad. This is the famous crush is generally crazy. "Get Married by passion, is to embark on a long journey full tempest in a boat run by a drunk pilot," says P. COLOMBIER. When a heart goes into a passion, becomes deaf and blind! ... No matter how powerful they are the reasons that he was claiming to show their follies; however sabios1 councils that are to be addressed, for they are very exciting appeals to it, nothing will want to hear. It was enraged. It's crazy! Do understand why a crazy!
The first impression of seeing the object crush ago amado coated qualities better and more beautiful. Love is like a fever, which produces hallucination. When the fever reaches the pinnacle, and when the senses prevailing free from any brake, are due ¬ children of the soul in a triumphant rebellion, the sick man of passion for such an attack can take at one time a resolution irrevocable, before which everything and everyone will have to give up parental weak, which also was inclined to mourn the weakness and love all together tomorrow, but too late!

The marriage of passion II

The passion is always blind, deaf and ephemeral. Let's see.
Blind, he did not believe the object loved him more than it enhances, and hides under a thick veil making it detract. He saw clear enough to judge freely, or is set only in certain physical qualities that may conceal the moral deformities.
Deaf, does not want to hear the advice of prudence, reason and faith. These are all hobbies or opinions without weight alone is right against all others; how many objections are submitted, for her words are worthless.
Ephemeral., Is exhausted by its own strength and by its excesses. A Nader makes birth and makes it fall. And disappears when the cloud surrounding the golden idol, we were disappointed, mired in despair. But it's too late, ligatures contracted under the impression of charm do not break, the fresh garland of flowers of the principle becomes heavy chain that lacera the heart.
Then there disenchantment, boredom, hatred, reproaches, disputes. It appears that the person he loved was different from another one that we were given in marriage. Then we put in the same vehemence the antipathy we had put in admiration. And the memory of the ideal previously seen, makes it more bitter reality in mind. The heart friend who had wanted to make us hear the voice of reason was not heard, on the contrary, suffered a shock us. The union was unhappy. Then, like all illusions, it was eclipsed by the time we thought achieve it. Love is essentially wandering. It is often old after three weeks. (Rouzic).

The marriage quickly.

That marriage, full steam is quickly organized, is built into the air, without being grounded on any of these strong precautions, which are essential for success in the matter as its capital.
It is especially made by young women who want at all costs leave the environment in which they live, emancipate the tutelage of family, and in accordance with this desire, undertaken blindly, without reflection or love, an adventure that they reserve major sorrows . No, we must act in haste in a very serious matter! ... The heart can have good intuitions, but is worth more wary of deep impressions and alive.

Marriage in the eyes of faith.
It is a sacrament. God Himself, at dawn in the world, instituted marriage and chaired the first union. Jesus Christ came to add to his greatness a consecration particular upgraded to a sacrament. It is also as a symbol of union between Him and His Church and gave him the power to sanctify those who receive it.
Like all the sacraments, it provides gra ¬ stances special thanks and those are:
"The refinement of natural love, which, supported by God, survives los1 charms and illusions of youth, doomed to perish, and the inevitable disappointments that the future reserves. The grace extends the power of love, because God, to join two hearts, their feelings attached to a life as long as the physical life.
The firmness of the union of souls and hearts by virtue of the grace of the sacrament that is consolidated as mortar unshakable among them.
The sanctification of the spouses. The common life imposes duties penosísimos, heroic sacrifices perhaps, to meet them, you need to do God's help, which, by making better each spouse to the other, improving the status of both spiritual and closer to perfection in the path of righteousness.
It is the union of two souls. Fr Monsabré explains this in terms admirable.
Marriage is, above all, the encounter, when over time, two souls who are looking for, and that, having found, they merge into one for each other refined; is the penetration of two wills that will fortify together.
It is the union of two hearts. Fonsegrive says:
It takes inevitably look at the word love, when you want to express the essence of conjugal society, its beginning and its law more intimate. Love is the sole ligation worthy of joining two lives in which everything is shared. This is not the dowry or the name, purpose, the looks of marriage, but the person. The person is indefinable. Much is, feels and is not understood. Only the heart has to see this point clearly.
The Christian love that is inexplicable and prodigious power before which the death capitulated and that makes despite the terrible destruction and burning of tears that cause us our dead, live with us and with us our dead.
There can be no surrender of the will without love. But that love can not rely solely on the senses, because in each case would be as fleeting as the sensations. When two souls are joined, are tied with ligatures of spiritual love that neither time nor space may break ...
The Christian love is something magnificent, beautiful whose name was not known respect in certain areas, is precisely the triumph of heart on the senses; ligation and sacred mystery that binds a close communion in the heart laughs between spouses. And what has this to do with the senses? Precisely insofar as they are dominated love is strong and beautiful. Where the senses are the owners, souls are slaves, and slavery of the soul is the worst calamities. (H. Colas).
A modern author has demonstrated very well that this sacrament, the sobrenaturaliza love, effectively ensures its delicacy and fixity because it relies on the very heart of God:
This sacrament teaches the man that his wife should not be an object of pleasure, caprice and desired by today rejected morning for a moment in a bad mood, nor the slave of his passions variables, but the intimate and sacred companion throughout his life, their interests, their joys and their sorrows, all his thoughts and all its businesses. Without this community of souls, there is no love, no family. This lack of true union come today breaks so immediate, households open to the most vulgar betrayals, after such a short. The Christian spirit has not put the seal on these cases to the divine promise of mutual fidelity; love without conscience and without God, is a profane whim that puts a day in the same way two beings, as in passing, but without knowing joining them. (Mons. Tissier).
Therefore, we need that the two hearts are joined by a mutual affection. What is not based on him not hard; at the lowest wind is sinking!

Greatness of marriage.

Before that Paul had written: "Marriage is a great sacrament in Christ and the Church", had seen Jesus attend the wedding of Cana and devote his first miracle to two young husbands. Not only was attending, but presiding.
For the faith, said Msgr. Baunard, everything sobrenaturaliza and spiritualization in the union of the spouses. Indeed: what delicacies around them; what gives them dignity! In front of the altar, blessing the rings that husbands are going to put in their fingers, a symbol of the bond that will unite them since then, in the life and death. Jesus presides at that time as in Cana. It is the consecration, the protector, the model; On, Spouse of the Church, that humanity who has always loved, as the best of the spouses is present, and on both hands consenting join inextricably supports his divine hand to tighten the noose and link the joys of time to wait indefinitely.
To better understand the greatness of that union should consider the following three points of meditation:

God first. Being marriage a sacrament, a sign sensitive instituted by Jesus Christ to give us the grace and sanctify our souls, all young Christian is to see him in response to the call of God, who teaches in that vocation (usually the most frequent) the path that should lead to heaven.
What is more beautiful, after the religious vocation, that feeling capable of uniting in God until death, two lives, two intelligences, two wills, two cariños, to help, for comfort, so refined, so shaking hands and cross the existence as two ivy that grab the sturdy trunk of an old oak?
The marriage gives souls to God! He prepares a village of worshippers. It is a vocation, a priesthood. It encompasses everything that contains vitality of grandeur, sublimity, call: Sacramento!

The family Both spouses who have to go to God brought the same momentum should know before marriage so fundamental, that is to create a home, where some of them being born perpetuate the human race and increase the number of children of the Church and the heirs of Heaven. The main purpose of marriage is that God had before when we instituted, it is important not to forget.

The sanctification. Alleged Dios1 that he called to marriage, you are entitled to expect from him thank you all are necessary to fulfill your duty and to overcome the difficulties.
You will have surely "tribulations" unknown to the souls' who have not married, but this does not preclude you love God and serve it properly, perhaps, by contrast, are the sacrifices the single currency to buy the joys of the holy land and the joys of heaven. The life of a good wife, a mother, is full of worries, penalties, which can only be overcome difficulties away from the faith.
Cases by obey God, to found a family, to create a home and sanctify fulfilling the duties of wife and mother, she demonstrates that it has understood the divine beauty of this sacrament.
After the priesthood and religious state, what is most beautiful on earth that the foundation of a Christian home?

Marriage is a sacred source, the abbot Coubé writes, because God has music. He was who created, one for the other to the first two husbands. He was the inspiration and was also witness to their union.
The marriage contract is sacred, for it both spouses are offered each other faith. That contract is irrevocable because the human will that is what is added to the divine will and that embodies what makes this intangible.
The union of marriage is sacred, man can not separate what God has joined. Requires therefore inviolable fidelity, able to withstand the tests of life in common and the temptations of all kinds.
The purpose of marriage is sacred. First gave the man a companion to be the charm and auxiliadora of his life. Moreover marriage is intended to perpetuate the human race, the creature becomes creative in collaboration with the Creator, because first and master of life.
The fruit of marriage is sacred; child is endowed with an immortal soul, image of God and their parents and their parents must create twice, giving after the natural life, intellectual and moral life, and life skills dichosa of eternity.
The social right of marriage is sacred. No human law can alter their functions, or break his bond, nor pronounce its dissolution.
The divorce may be legal in positive law, but it is always illegal and invalid in natural law. It is not just a marriage contract in which two husbands contributing as a common inheritance their titles, their fortunes, their riquezas1, their lives; marriage is a sacrament! Yes, a sacrament as Baptism and the Eucharist.
God himself intervenes as a witness and as a judge in concluding and implementing this major contract. Spouses must flee frialdades all kinds of offenses that would be among them; alejamientos of them become perjuros, and the infidelity that would be a sacrilege. (Mons. Dupanloup).

Evidence of marriage.
It also should dispel some illusions that could evidence that he reserves the marriage. It must guess the thorns that hide under the roses!
Bossuet writes: "There is no pain in humanity more cruel than those born within the world's best marriages." And La Rochefoucauld
said: "There are marriages full of goodness, there are none filled with delicacies.
Above all we must consider a fact that will be imposed to your attention. Whatever the degree of love and vivacity, both spouses will inevitably one day down the flame. The poetry of the principle might soon disappear; youth, as smoke that evaporates, it will lose its attractive exterior: the passion (if any) will soon get used to possession of their subject, always the same, life will eventually become monotonous , And therefore less enjoyable; reality cease to be a severe turn for smiling. This is the inevitable fate of every human.
Want to know how in a few years changed the scene for lovers?
Read this page that L. Veuillot has the impression that experienced before two husbands who had known at the time of their wedding:
Enrique's wife had seen me recently. Could not without an effort to remember my figure and my name. I, in any other place, he had spoken with recognize it. In my memory she was the fairy of youth, dressed in chiffon, topped with flowers, the stomping ground of reality, with a smile on the lips, on the green roads of spring. A heart without any wounds, eyes that have not seen anything sad, a spirit that has no known concerns, which only a few ears have heard sweet words, only a few hands that have carried flowers; that day dawns, flower that opens, Promise of life. So I had seen the day of his wedding: Christian, woman, girl all along; harmony of beauty, of faith, of love, candor; serious because she believed: blessed because he loved; radiant because unaware.
After fifteen years in it I found a wife aged by the concerns of the home, a daughter who wore mourning for his mother, a mother who wore mourning for their children. In his pale face, the tears were most deeply marked the path of the years in their hearts subjected to the Cross.
I remember that morning called Stella. Now we could call Mater Dolorosa.
The mistake of many young people is to jump to life with a heart full of illusions, without thinking more than in his love, dorándolo all to the extent of their wishes, looking at only one side of the coin, without thinking that every medal has his back.

Disease.
Many are married without paying attention to this point so important. One couple ios, the former prone to chronic illness or unexpected victim of an accidental condition, can be carried out soon after the marriage a burden, destroying the dream of happiness that the other spouse had founded there. The suffering becomes challenging, irascible, and whoever is forced to play the role of nurse, is exposed to see soon exhausted his patience.

The reversals of fortune.
May be more or less serious, but sometimes are of such importance to the spouses to reduce poverty. And then if the husband can not cope with the situation to overcome, not the woman to suffer it, begins to pass the black series of melancholy and gloomy days. Soon, in such a situation, just the foundation of happiness past, the thrust of the implacable reality. It is needed in such cases, preparing to live the new life in all its blackness.

In-laws.
The relations with them are not always very easy. A young man leaves his family to live with her husband, then everything he loves, everything you smile, but must not forget that when you get married, join another family, which just might have thought, and the that you can not ignore.
The new family will welcome the new daughter with kindness surely, but how will it feel to deploy to penetrate into this new home without shocks and win a seat next to one mother who snatched the heart of sii son. He joined a husband and not the husband's family, so think at least, but will live with this family and seek love.
The best thing is always just found a home shared by the spouses, but this is not always possible, and if after those who are married have to live with the family of one of them, make provision for patience, prudence and smoothness by if one day they were needed

The defects of character.
At the new home, with its good qualities each brings its imperfections husband, their defects, their character, their customs. Love between two married couples, accustomed to each other regarded as the embodiment of an ideal, the disclosure of the flaws in the treatment surgidos1 daily engender an early disappointment, will demand the generosity and mutual condescension, only science that leads to the attainment of happiness on. Only Christian love, enlivened by the grace of the sacrament, granted to spouses force to help bring the weight of life.
See on this point the view of a woman of letters, Ivonne Sarcey:
He was said to the girl: "You marry to be blessed", and it is not true! He should say: Be prepared throughout the spring of your life to deal with the sacrament of marriage. Prepares and fortifies your willingness to show calm and dignified when you go to fight without truce and perhaps buy happiness face.
God, that everything is right, wanted to be the love poetry of that great event, but make no mistake. The tenderness that will flood your heart, believe that reaching paradise, it is not just the oasis where they will rest for a moment your youth. Because marriage is proof in which sentences will offer you many days. But those penalties that loves you will make women.
Love your husband for the qualities that he has discovered in the happy time of your courtship, but acomódate their defects when we no longer worry about concealing them, all men have them, which is why you should not consider them as gods.
Consideréis not, therefore, marriage as the means to build a stable condition, to achieve some independence or a little more freedom; vedlo as it should be, namely: the path of a life of delicate duties of dark work of mutual assistance and perpetual sacrifice.

What must be done before marriage.
Therefore, it is necessary to prepare for marriage, as we prepare for anything that we do seriously. Not enough play in a given time demands and requirements of natural laws, civil and ecclesiastical duties that must be, completed today, you will help fulfill the best that you expect tomorrow.
And what are those duties?
Pray to God.
As the marriage "the institution that God has chosen for the spread of mankind," it is clear that God will surround all of its application to the soul that prompted emergency lights and to succeed in their marriage and faithfully respond to the appeal of its obligations.
God certainly has produced some souls for others. If there is any reserved for you, ask to Dios1 you know the make.
If marriages are registered in the sky, the prayer will help you to spell, to read this script and celestial adjudicaros on land that husband whose name is vnido to the tables in your divine. (Rouzic).
Therefore pray: 1. º to truly know if you have the vocation of marriage; 2. º to know the husband that he intended the sky.
If the sentence is necessary for all, how much more will have to pray to succeed in a resolution that will set your luck in the land and perhaps much influence in your salvation!
A Russian proverb says: Before we go to war, pray once; prays twice before embarcarte; prays three times before marrying.
Reflecting.
When a young woman enters the convent, before enabling it to make the votes will have to go through a series of preparatory exercises, tests by more or less long. Only after serious reflection and study of itself, and the life it intends to undertake, will make its final consecration. At least this study will last two years.
Why, then, when it comes to marriage we want to go so hastily? It is not. However, a lottery. We must think and see if they have the necessary qualities to be a good wife and good mother. And, after thinking seriously about yourselves, in your soul, in your heart, your moral and physical abilities, in your character and the obligations of common life, is forced to repeat the same review, which has studied the if your husband.
What emplearéis an appreciable time in choosing a costume and change your future without meditation concederéis the first to be present?
Undoubtedly, says an old adage: "Life is a journey that is not done well but in the company." But it is necessary that the two passengers are understood, because it can not be thinking: again choose better, nor it is necessary to seek remedy for his leaving each side. Nor is it possible to nurture the hope of saying goodbye to our colleague at the end of the trip, because this trip is not just one word: death. Until then, we must march together with love, and if there is not love, at least with patience. Which reflections are necessary before deciding to take such a resolution if it wants to succeed in it!
Check.
After prayer and reflection, you should consult your fathers and your confessor.
Consult your parents is imposed. The simplest respect what you ordered and prudence as well; your family has an interest in avoiding a bad choice, and his experience of life will always be more suspicious that your sentimental innocence.
However, that does not let you marry! Do you understand? Your parents, friends, strangers might want to marry. Not asistáis to preparations as if another marriage and not yourselves be called upon to marry.
Ye. A casting vote in the matter, the only decisive, and you will fall further on all responsibilities and all the consequences.
Irreducible keep you know if you want to impose an election that neither your heart nor your faith want to accept. Do not forget, on the other hand, rarely are good unions result of the passion of the children against opposition from parents that is not purely arbitrary.

The choice spouse.
Each one of you, to a greater or lesser degree, has forged an ideal. Candida in the innocence of his dreams, has glimpsed the man who handed over his heart and hand. Here is important to be clear and per ¬ possible to be a little lengthy, the thing is worth it.
A. Cochin has written: "I think that scares the life of a man depends on to say three times or three times if not before an altar saperdote and one". In what hand colocaréis yours, when it pronunciéis the sacramental that bind you forever? Before you jump right into the issue examine some circumstances prior importance.

Age.
Who has not among yourselves and your boyfriend a big age difference. Life in common requests certain equality of energy, otherwise you will soon veríais young man next to a man.

Marrying a widower.
If trying to marry a widower, father, do not forget that we need a dedication to any evidence to love a man who has loved, and to educate with love of a mother, the children of another woman if available . Even if you believe in the heart feel that spirit of sacrifice, fear the test period, a short sacrifice is easy; a sacrifice to prolong the life is difficult.

Wary of childhood friends.
It is generally believed that by having played together during the years of childhood, for his sympathetic in the hours so happy, and yet so light for children, are agreed on two lovers and provide mutual security, to build a family happy. Those hours of games, born in them the sympathy is not enough, it is necessary to seek stronger razones1. In addition, variations of which may have suffered a child to become a man! The barracks, the factory, reading, friend, sometimes have disastrous influences so ... Be careful! ... Reflect!

The choice of spouse: intervention by the parents.
It is also necessary to draw a proper line of conduct to the attitude of your fathers, with regard to your marriage.
If your parents want necessitates a marriage that no longer meets your faith, not your heart, rehusadlo bravely.
If they want to prohibit a marriage on grounds vain, money-for example, insist with sweetness, mostradles your hearts, procuraos councils, to show respect should you give consent.
If indeed the opposition of parents, is based on strong grounds, reasonable, discreet, Have the wisdom and virtue of inclinaros before their reasons.
In any case, avoid always, at all costs, to talk to your parents for the convenience of taking state, precipitation, anger, threats and other means disrespectful, always reprehensible, it also proves perjudiciales1 for the achievement of your order , Would be a source of remorse for your conscience and paternal bitter reproach for the future

Important point in the choice of spouse.
But when dealing with the choice of spouse, it is essential to fix the attention mainly on a very important point. The marriage did not forget! is primarily a sacrament, a holy link. This being so, you can not, young Christian, forget the religious side of this big problem that the future of your marriage or you will solve complicated, and when you ask the world:
Do you have money?, Ask yourselves, for your part, does my religious beliefs?
We study the various cases that may arise.

If the couple is moral, serious and practical Christian, and of course if there are no other obstacles resulting from his character, his family or his health, id entrusted, which surely will give you happiness. May be poor, but not a fortune worth everything your heart pure and pious you reserve. Your marriage is of those who are "written in heaven."

If he is a Christian and does not practice.
Will probably be many of those Christians who are not only in name, it is possible, however, find among them good souls, hearts francs that only need to find a soul sister, able to revive them in the flame of faith.
If we had to exclude a priori to all los1 people who did not practice, the marriage would be impossible for many young people. But, that yes, in the absence of guarantees religious, it must be particularly demanding in the moral qualities.

If he said: You let free to practice your religion, but I do not I follow you.
You will see in one of two situations: either fulfill their promise, or does not comply.
Suppose that is true to his word. We will pray and he did not read, you will not go to church and will accompany you, you can talk about everything with him, least of the most interesting thing for both; life, the salvation of your souls What suffering for you! And what further danger!
Little by little, perhaps, you will see infected his skepticism; give you free account, gradually, insensibly you familiarizaréis with Irreligion; in dealing with an irreligious, their ascendancy will be imposed on you. Probably resist your faith, but lose their force, their energy and fervor, to fall into this indifference of those who have only the name of Christian. Your faith will not die, it can be, but will decline as a flame that is not powered.
And if not? What if did not fulfill his word? This is not a bad scenario, the opposite is more frequent its unfortunate reality that the first! Oh, say perhaps, even in
Here I would swap the way. Do not say so high: it difficult, almost impossible, will not change.
I do not illusions created by your illusion marry. The reality is otherwise.
Initially you leave your husband practice, but will soon insinuaros in orders later, a brake to get to your devotion. One day, at last, you go to church ban, to confess and Communion, perhaps even on Easter. And so, bitter for a huge pain, continuaréis still secretly fulfilling your religious duties.
But in this way is very difficult to prevail, fear, discomfort, the inability, lack of opportunity, they will undermine your souls in the building of your faith, to make Abandon God, to obey the whim of one man.

If he is wicked or freethinker, and has the loyalty of their lack of faith confess, I hope that you will make you understand the suffering mistake to assume that you can leave it to Dios1.
A man without religious principles? Is the promise of the virtues marriage, fidelity?
The wicked heart Does everything in this knot of holy mystery, done in God's name at the foot of the altar?, And if this man does not believe in the sacrament, if you do not see in marriage more than a pure formality, to be imported two or three sworn witnesses of their faith?
Spouses whose mutual love is not rooted in religion, not ever understand "the marriage of souls."
When two spouses do not have God in his love, when they do not have the same faith, what are going to look at the foot of the altar? the curse of God and the most bitter disappointments. (P. Hubert).
Perhaps, however, encouraging the passion poured into your ears holy tentadoras1 these words: "Who knows? Maybe you can convert, we will take you to God!" To achieve that victory would require that fueseis holy. You are you? Not tentéis God! Exponéis you to lose your faith and with it any hope of that in the land.
Do not believe that exaggerate; experience refers many cases, this wicked will laugh at your religion and for your scruples, one day you may also reiréis you, because I doubt if that preguntándoos man whom you love, and that is your husband and in your own land, will not have any serious reason to deny God. And then maybe your faith is collapsing like a wall undermined by the infiltration. Young reckless, you disgrace to pintarte lurks as a smiling future, perhaps as a duty, your marriage to an infidel; not consume such recklessness that it might commit to more than your happiness on earth, the sky!

If he belong to another religion.
When extremely serious reasons not dictate otherwise, you say: Absteneos, rechazadlo! Such marriages hybrids in the converging different beliefs, they can not do are those.
'll Fatally in the common life often suffer penalties, which will raise discussions and disagreements among you the character and diversity of tastes, and these differences inevitably, want to add that breed division in your opinions, your souls? Estaríais sentenced to a lifetime, as in oblivion, the most serious problem in your life, to not have peace among yourselves, without the prior waiver of the talks on religion, to create the most frightening question in your children, if these bastards a day have that question:
"Is my father or my mother who follows the path of truth?" That marriage can unite two hearts, but never unite two souls.

And, finally, after the religious issue, studying the character well; know distinguish it, who wants to unite his life to yours, what is true and what is natural and pretended to be false. Discover, through conveniences, education, the desire to please, perhaps the art with deep deceivers who wears a soul charms unfriendly and dry able to offer many disappointments for his selfishness.
Is it easy? Is it good? Can you sacrifice? Everything is there. If it is good, because you are such kindness involves many other virtues, and if it is selfless, you have no heart and the heart is deceiving.

Following the request by hand.
Your mission is clear, your choice is made, and that your boyfriend is admitted. Your relationship with him will have to be necessarily more intimate. It is no longer a, strange to you, that bear on the ring finger is the first tied a string of love that will unite you to the grave.
There are things that decorum and other authorized forbidding.
We endeavor to be clear and give on the subject, so delicate, councils to provide illumination to the souls.
You can see your boyfriend, see him often, speak alone with him to know you better. It is natural that your two hearts are open to each other and participate and you what your plans for the future. But conveniences, such as prudence, fail lengthy interviews alone. Do not forget this advice: talk with your boyfriend where you do not hear, but where you see.
You can give samples of fraternal friendship. You are not a stranger to him, and some demonstrations of love can be permitted, for example those who are allowed one sister with a brother, even though more reserved.
Who has wisdom, dignity, respect, nobility in your relationships. Be like the guardian angel of your boyfriend and believe that if your promise is a Christian and you want the truth, I would appreciate it if guardéis the distances required by decorum.
Do not forget that any fault has a fatal impact on the stock.
Think of the future, do not be preparéis remorse for the rest of your life by some quirk guilty. Do not expongáis to lose the esteem of that has to be your husband. Do not forget that if you convertís in your accomplice, he soon will turn in your court and then in your executioner.
It is necessary, - writes Bishop. Gibi, - that distrust of themselves and a passion that is never more dangerous than on the eve of becoming legitimate, retain the two boyfriends to each other that reserve full of respect, which is the prelude to and foundation of a lasting love .
If your boyfriend has left their religious practices, you have a duty to encourage him to return to God. You have a great influence on him; know seized. Strolling around the time might be too late.
If necessary, make his conversion seriously and complete a prerequisite for your marriage to him. If you ve decided, you can be assured of winning his soul while his heart.
If it is, on the contrary, good Christian, do not leave the commune and pray together. God must be placed in all acts of our lives. Never, as in this solemn hour, will need his help.
Anyway, before joining forever, confessor and ask directions to your parents, especially your mother, about the special duties of marriage.